When life doesn’t go as planned, it’s easy to feel like a failure. This feeling undermines self-confidence, makes you want to throw in the towel, and leaves you feeling confused
When you get stuck on your problems, losses, and mistakes, you hinder your own progress. That’s why it’s important to combat the feeling of being a failure — and you can do this with a few simple techniques
Fight against the feeling of guilt
We, as humans, strive to figure things out and understand why we’ve failed. But this approach often leads us to feel guilty and to blame others for our misfortunes. If you’re feeling like a failure, it’s time to stop fixating on finding someone to blame. This hinders us from learning lessons from past mistakes and moving forward. Instead of tirelessly searching for reasons, seek solutions to the problem, and your soul will feel much lighter
Analyze what happened
Instead of blaming others and yourself, look at the facts. What went wrong that was beyond your control, and how does the experienced failure affect you now? What new opportunities can be found in the current situation? All these questions need to be asked if you feel like a failure. Focus on what you can improve rather than dwelling on what happened. Think based on the information you have now, not on regrets about the past.
Rethink Failure
Redefining failure is one of the most challenging tasks on this list, but it is also one of the most important. Failure is a lesson and an opportunity to bounce back and demonstrate your true strength. Failure is not a sign of weakness; it reflects your commitment to growth. If life knocks you down, you will rise stronger if you set the right goals for yourself and do not lose motivation. And that’s a learned skill, dependent on the mindset you choose for yourself.
Try again
When faced with a sense of failure, you can choose between two paths. The easiest is to give up and feel sorry for yourself, but it won’t help you move forward. The second path is more difficult and requires significant effort, but it serves as a starting point for further growth and success. This path is to try again. Accept failure as part of existence and continue to live life to the fullest. Keep striving and improving, even if it feels like you’ve made countless mistakes. Temporary feelings of failure are not the end of your personal story, but they can become significant obstacles on the way to a brighter future. Remember that mistakes are a reflection of your attempt to do something, and that’s commendable. So, if what didn’t work out is worth it, you should try again.
Realize that there is no success without failure
In an ideal world, we could achieve success immediately, without exerting effort or encountering failures. But we live in a completely different reality, and this needs to be accepted. Realize that there is no success without failure. Just look at the stories of people who have achieved a lot and consider how many setbacks and rejections they endured before reaching the top. Without failures, their path would have been entirely different, and it’s not guaranteed that it would have led to such great success.
Face your fear head-on
The failures we’ve experienced make us afraid of them happening again. This fear can paralyze us, causing us to give up on our goals just to avoid reliving unpleasant feelings. If you want to overcome it, you need to confront it head-on and set a goal you want to achieve. Gradually step out of your comfort zone and make a promise to yourself that the fear of failure will no longer hold you back.
Find a healthy distraction
When it comes to overcoming failure, it’s important to choose healthy distractions. Go to the gym, socialize with friends and people who inspire you, and find a new hobby. This helps combat negative feelings and thoughts, and encourages you to get up and try to succeed again.
Set smaller but realistic goals
You may feel defeated because you set unrealistic goals that ended in failure. There’s nothing wrong with being ambitious, but this quality always needs to be paired with a sensible approach to planning. Adjust your goals and standards if you feel overwhelmed by them and they make you feel like a failure. Instead of trying to achieve something grandiose and lofty, break down the big goal into small steps that don’t seem daunting and are less likely to lead to mistakes. These achievements may seem insignificant compared to others, but they will help you learn to take things step by step and develop patience.
Reward yourself
If you never praise and reward yourself for your work, you feel like a failure. It’s important to be able to notice even small achievements and be grateful to yourself for accomplishing what you set out to do. Instead of criticizing yourself for things you did wrong, look for moments and solutions that brought you closer to success. Also, maybe you didn’t get the expected results, but you tried to do something instead of sitting around, waiting for the perfect moment or for what you wanted to fall into your lap. And that’s worth celebrating too because many people don’t even try to overcome laziness and move forward.
Ask for help
People often fear asking for help because of their own pride, as well as fears of appearing vulnerable and weak. But asking for help doesn’t mean that you’ve failed or that you’re incapable of handling something on your own. It reflects courage and intelligence because instead of banging your head against the wall, you find the strength to seek support. It takes bravery and courage to admit that you need help, and that deserves respect, not pity. So don’t hesitate to reach out to a friend, expressing that you’d like to have a heart-to-heart conversation, ask colleagues to remind you how to do the annual report, or seek the help of a psychologist if you need to address complex issues related to mental health.
Analyze your history
Do you often feel like a failure? If your answer is ‘yes’, then you may have a negative outlook on life. Most likely, you tend to dwell on what’s going wrong and overlook the small, fleeting joys that can be found in each day. Consider changing your mindset and worldview towards optimism. This will not only help you stop feeling like a failure but also make it easier to view the world positively and foster meaningful and deep relationships.
Understand your emotions
Many people try to escape from their darkest and most unpleasant emotions. However, unfortunately, we cannot constantly distract ourselves from pain or pretend it doesn’t exist. In the long run, such an approach never leads to success and leads to the suppression of feelings, which has numerous unpleasant consequences.
Be kind to yourself
We will always be our own worst critics, and this won’t help overcome the feeling of defeat. The more you judge your actions and dwell on your own shortcomings, the stronger your self-doubt becomes. And there’s a great chance that you won’t be able to shake off the feeling of being a failure. That’s why it’s important not to be a critic to yourself, but to be your best friend. Treat yourself kindly, no matter what. Talk to yourself the way you would talk to your closest and most beloved person.
