Arguments are an integral part of everyday life.
Sometimes they arise over trivial matters, but there are times when they touch on truly important topics. Regardless, when an argument heats up, a competitive spirit awakens within us. It feels as though one can only emerge from the conversation as a winner or a loser. Often, in the quest for victory, people cross boundaries, damage relationships, and present themselves in an unfavorable light. There is another approach, however, which suggests that arguments should be treated as an art form for effective handling. A person can defend their position without alienating their opponent. The key is to use a simple phrase: “I partly agree.” Let’s explore this method in more detail and understand the meaning behind these words.
The Power of the Phrase “I Partly Agree”
This phrase doesn’t have a fixed form. “Partly” means “to some extent,” but it’s unclear how much. It could be in minor details or, conversely, in the main point, but the specifics need further discussion. To understand the extent, your interlocutor will have to listen to your position. At this moment, their defense softens because there is a possibility that consensus might be reached right now. You are not rejecting their point of view; you may even be ready to accept it, though with some reservations. Thus, the argument turns into a search for compromise. At least, this is how it appears, although in reality, you can continue to defend your position, just more creatively, without frontal attacks that are rarely effective.
How to Use “Partial Agreement”
First and foremost, remember that arguing is an art. An individual approach is essential here. You should consider the topic of the conversation, the level of urgency, and the importance of the issue at hand. Pay attention to the emotional state of your interlocutor, their willingness to listen and perceive arguments. Of course, context and the history of your relationship are crucial. Simply put, if you’ve previously argued with this person and insulted them in the process, “partial agreement” will work much weaker. However, it can be turned into a form of apology.
Acknowledgment
It all starts with acknowledging the existence of an opposing position. You cannot dismiss it as unworthy of attention. At the very least, it’s unfair because you’re arguing, which means you’re already spending time and giving attention. Listen to the interlocutor carefully, even if it’s challenging. This way, you’ll pick out the details you are ready to partially agree with and overcome the barrier of prejudice.
Presentation
Next, proceed to present your position. Now you have the moral right to do so based on common etiquette. If the interlocutor doesn’t allow you to speak, you have a strong argument. Dialogue is a sequential exchange of information between two or more parties. Otherwise, it’s a monologue — in which case the opponent can be justly accused of rudeness. When expressing your opinion, be sure to mention the points of partial agreement. This is perceived as encouragement, recognition of the importance of the interlocutor’s opinion.
Development
Arguments are conducted to reveal the truth or at least to approximate it. Therefore, while demonstrating external softness and goodwill, keep your position firm and strong. First, ask for additional clarifications on the points of agreement. You partly agree, so you would like to know more. This is an invitation for further sparring or a dance, if you will. The main thing is that some boundaries are defined, and rules are established. Then move on to the details you fundamentally disagree with and also ask for justification. Separate acceptable and unacceptable meanings, giving them equal attention. This might plant doubt in the interlocutor, as you accept some things but categorically reject others.
Alternative
The points of view are partly united. Now it depends on your level of skill how much of your opponent’s opinion, position, or ideas will remain in this alternative. For example, you can make the opponent believe that the minor point you partially agree with is actually crucial and is the key detail, even if it’s not. If successful, a small acknowledgment might be enough for the argument to end with almost complete dominance of your position. In other cases, you should look for a compromise. That’s why it’s necessary to stay attentive and listen to the interlocutor during the argument.
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The Basics of Conducting a Dialogue
In any conversation, whether it’s a heated argument or casual chatter, you can “win the heart” of your interlocutor. This is also an art that influences the perception of your words and proposals. Some techniques can work immediately, even without practice. Over time, your level of mastery will naturally increase.
Listen Actively
This is the simplest and very effective technique. Maintain eye contact. If the interlocutor’s speech drags on, periodically nod your head to show that you are still listening attentively. All professional journalists do this when conducting interviews. This sign of attention makes the interlocutor feel comfortable. You demonstrate respect without saying a word.
Stay Calm
This requires some effort. Sometimes it can be difficult to control emotions, which can easily turn an argument into a big quarrel. Initially, it will be enough to simply stop in time. When the dialogue escalates into raised voices and, even more so, into personal attacks, it’s important to take a pause. You can even state this intention directly, especially when you are not the initiator. However, it is also necessary to observe certain etiquette. The intention to take a break should not turn into an accusation.
Ask Questions
Clarifying questions are an excellent weapon in a dispute. The main thing is to ask them without a mocking tone, without sarcasm, if you do not want to offend the interlocutor. The human brain perceives a dispute as a threat, so it activates all defense mechanisms. Any, even the slightest, jab will be noticed, if not through intellect and analysis, then through intuition. Try to ask questions that can be answered quickly. Your task is to simply demonstrate attention and interest. Therefore, it would be good to choose questions to which you already know the answers. This way, “reserve” points of partial agreement will emerge.
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