Confessing your feelings can be difficult. It’s especially challenging when you’re afraid they’re not reciprocated.
However, fear shouldn’t prevent you from building your life and entering into relationships. Allowing anxiety and stress to control your actions risks never knowing if you had a chance for a future with the girl. Consider this article as a sign that it’s time to take the plunge. Here’s the best strategy to confess your feelings while also protecting yourself as much as possible.
Analyze the situation.
Carefully observe the girl’s behavior and how your communication with her unfolds. In some cases, you may find hints of her possible feelings. To bolster your confidence, you can seek advice from friends or mutual acquaintances. Surely someone has noticed some peculiarities in your behavior or even knows whether your feelings are mutual. Just don’t jump to conclusions if you suddenly haven’t found confirmation or refutation of your suspicions. It’s always better to wait for some time and reanalyze the relationship than to immediately write off your communication.
Choose the right time and place.
Before confessing your feelings to the girl, try to find a suitable time and place for it. Of course, there should be no other people around — confessions in group settings or in public will make both you and her very nervous. As a result, you may get a response that is not at all what you hoped for. It’s also better to find out in advance if the girl has any serious problems at the moment that may worry her much more than establishing a personal life and talking about feelings. In general, assess the situation first, and only then decide to confess.
Speak clearly and plainly.
If you’ve decided to tell the girl about your feelings, try to be clear and specific. Speak in a way that she will definitely understand what you’re talking about. Avoid using metaphors, comparisons, complex expressions, references to books, and movies. All of these will only blur the meaning of what you’re saying and make the girl doubt whether she interpreted your words correctly. Share your feelings openly and honestly — it’s always highly appreciated.
Pay attention to her reaction.
You can understand how the girl will respond to your confession of feelings if you pay attention to the details. Watch how she reacts to what you say. With the help of your intuition, you can determine whether you should continue the conversation or if there’s no point in it. Just remember not to jump to conclusions and to keep yourself composed.
Avoid using strong words.
A huge mistake is talking about your affection using strong words, especially if you have only recently met the girl or have been chatting for a long time but have never touched on personal topics in conversation. In general, until you really get to know who the girl is, there’s no point in swearing eternal love to her or talking about your admiration. It’s necessary to understand that at the very beginning, you’re not falling in love with the person themselves but rather with the image created based on guesses and imagination. It’s best to be restrained in expressing your feelings so that you are taken seriously.
Don’t demand an immediate answer.
Sometimes admitting that you like someone can be too unexpected for that person. Therefore, don’t insist on an immediate response from the girl. Try not to pressure her, but give her enough space and time to analyze the situation, think about her feelings, consider whether your hypothetical relationship has a future, and so on. This is another opportunity to demonstrate to the girl that you respect her and will accept whatever her response may be. Be assured, she will definitely appreciate such a gesture.
Anticipate the possibility of rejection.
Believing in yourself is important, but it’s even more crucial to acknowledge that sometimes you can’t control the situation. Rejection isn’t a reflection of your inadequacy in any way. It’s simply the subjective opinion of the person, lacking the same feelings and emotions you experience. Instead of fixating on unreciprocated feelings and searching for reasons why you received a “no” as an answer, it’s important to keep moving forward. Keep in mind that unexpected rejection can happen to anyone, in any situation. By doing so, your fear will have less of an impact on your inner state.
Put yourself first.
It’s great to be respectful of other people’s feelings, but ultimately, you should prioritize yourself, your comfort, and your own feelings. If you find yourself faced with a choice between yourself and the girl, choose yourself. Act in a way that allows you to maintain your accustomed standard of living to the fullest. Even if the girl gives you a negative answer, you won’t need to give up interactions with your mutual acquaintances, stop going to your favorite places, or pretend that nothing happened between you if the conversation was unpleasant. Your feelings are just as important and valuable as anyone else’s. Trust yourself and what you’re feeling, and stop painting scary pictures in your mind of how your life might change if you’re rejected.
Make it clear what you want to achieve.
Make sure to articulate what you want to achieve with your confession. There could be many options: simply letting the girl know that you like her, changing the status of your relationship, asking her out on a date, and so on. For you, the conversation about your feelings might be an invitation to start dating, but only you know that. Let the girl know your intentions so that she can give you an honest and clear answer more easily.
Speak offline
Sending a beautiful text or message is certainly easier than confessing everything in person. However, if you want to get an accurate answer, you need to speak offline, face to face with the girl. It is during a personal meeting that you can track the person’s reaction, see if they understood you correctly, discuss all the nuances, and so on.
