This seemingly simple question is actually quite challenging to answer in a short and definitive way.
When we reflect on what it means to do the right thing, the discussion inevitably enters the realm of philosophy, where it becomes even more complex. Additionally, we all have plenty of examples where people in similar situations acted completely differently, each believing their actions were correct. Let’s explore why this happens and why doing the right thing is often a compromise, a kind of negotiation between several “judges.”
The Anatomy of Doing the Right Thing
An action is considered “right” when it aligns with the arrows on one’s moral compass. However, every person has several guiding principles, which may come into conflict with each other. For example, personal goals might contradict societal norms, and moral values may resist both, advocating for a middle ground. It becomes necessary to choose which compass point takes priority, which one seems most valuable or important at the time. Given these factors, judgments, conclusions, and decisions are inherently subjective. Rarely does an action become entirely correct. There are always questionable aspects that can lead to lingering doubts.
Those with a single, clear life goal or those without any moral principles have an easier time. For them, the choice is obvious. Every action must serve their goal or personal gain. However, even their actions are evaluated by others and weighed on the scales of public opinion. In everyday life, the end rarely justifies the means. The worst actions are subject to criminal law, and public opinion can strip a person of many things, from career opportunities to social connections. You may know people who, for some reason, have no friends. Most likely, they often acted wrongly and disregarded relationship norms.
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Balancing Between Guides
Although a perfectly right action, aligned with all moral, personal, and societal principles, is nearly impossible, there is usually a golden middle ground. Moreover, it is not hidden but often lies in plain sight, yet is frequently ignored. This happens because compromise can be dissatisfying when it requires sacrificing some personal interests. A person is more likely to turn a blind eye to betrayed morals or compromise their principles, assuming they can restore them later. However, they might not be willing to pass up even small, immediate benefits or pleasures.
It is easy to judge such actions, especially from the outside, but who hasn’t acted this way before? Every student has skipped a class to spend time with friends. Many people have been late to work after sleeping in for an extra 10-20 minutes. It’s impossible to always deny oneself the spontaneity and indulgences that make us human. It turns out that human nature itself doesn’t allow us to always do the right thing. The best we can do is create a personal system of checks and balances, where all moral and personal principles are considered, though some may take a back seat. In short, it’s important to avoid decisions that align with only one guide and contradict many others.
The Wrong Action
Poets and philosophers praise moral values and other intangible ideals that undoubtedly play a crucial role in shaping a person. Without these guiding principles, it’s impossible to develop a conscious outlook on life. Nevertheless, achieving personal success also requires a more utilitarian approach to decision-making. There must be enough time and space in your life to fulfill your own desires. Otherwise, the existential question arises: what’s the point of it all? You probably don’t dream of living solely for the sake of serving something else. Sacrificing yourself too much for other principles is, in itself, a wrong action. There’s no reward for this, and it may lead to a habit of chronic dissatisfaction.
Of course, there are exceptions: sometimes self-sacrifice is the only correct choice, a sign of heroism or the highest form of individual maturity. However, this does not apply to everyday life, where such grand categories are almost non-existent. The compass pointing toward personal interests and desires is just as important as all the others. It is a legitimate participant in the “negotiations” or decision-making process. Ignoring it could lead to a harsh judgment later.
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How to Know You Did the Right Thing
You realize you made the right decision in hindsight—when you feel a sense of relief. All doubts vanish, replaced by a mixture of ease and joy. The pieces of a complex puzzle fall into place, and none of your guiding principles were pushed too far aside, forgotten, or trampled on. In those moments, you fully understand the phrase, “a weight lifted off your shoulders.”
On the flip side, the most unfortunate decisions also often become clear only after the fact. You might find yourself asking, “How could I have been so blind?” There were countless scenarios to choose from, any one of which could have saved you from making significant mistakes or suffering losses. Throughout your life, you’ll encounter both examples repeatedly. Try to analyze these experiences. Look at the situation from the outside and identify which guiding principles led you to relief, and which led to regret.
When facing a similar dilemma next time, adjust your balance based on what you’ve learned. This won’t be an all-encompassing shield to protect you from every wrong decision. It’s simply about probabilities, and you can influence them through your choices. You and your guiding principles are interconnected, exerting pressure on each other every day, evolving, and shaping your future together.
